Well, There Goes All Hope

So, I have recently completed the e-harmony test for their “29 levels of capability “, and what are the results? Well, within 300 miles of Cheney WA, there are no matches, an d within 300 miles of Tacoma (which would essentially encompass the vast majority of the population of WA state) there was no matches. In the entire country, I have no matches, even with me willing to relocate, and this other person willing to relocate. And in case you think I am a racist or something, I selected every race, and also every level of drinking, smoking, religious activity, and age(I went as low as 20 {which is the lowest it will allow me to go} and 90 (And I’d prefer not to marry someone that old…..not that I have anything against old people, I’d just rather marry someone a little closer to my age…for instance someone not 3 times my age). I get a whopping 7 matches if I select to accept people with children (again, this is in the entire country.) So, out of the 14 million people that subscribe there are 7 women between the ages of 20 and 90, that are a match for me in the 29 level of capabilities. I’m pretty sure that leaves me completely hopeless for every finding a mate.

In My Old Age

So, I turned 23 the other day. I feel very old, even though two different women at work (both women are in their 30's) called me a "baby". I'm sure in 10 years or so I'll probably think of my 23 year old self as a baby, but right now I feel very old. As my boss said, after 21, you really have nothing to look forward to. Makes me really look forward to the next 55 years or so.

So, in my old age I have become fairly liberal. Now, I don't mean Democrat liberal, I mean real, meaningful liberal. I think capitalism as it stands now is pretty much crap. It certainly produces alot of stuff, but it screws over so many people it's not even funny. Such as the lowest 20% of the population only gets 4% of all income, and it's made even worse when you consider 50 years ago that same percentage of people got 5% of the income. Also, the top 5% gets over 21% of the income, and the top 20% gets about 48.1%, and that percentage has gone up over the past 50 years.

So, I've been looking at the Green party website. Apparently there are meetings in Spokane Wednesday nights at 7, unfortunately I work then. So, I am kinda looking forward to when I work during the day (if I ever actually get a job where I work during the day). The website and the 10 values listed on the site looks good. Although I am very cincial, so I'm sure that in practice the Green party is as bad, or worse, than the Republicans and Democrats. Of course without the millions in donations by the corporate powers.

I've decided that I wish I could believe in God. It would make everything so much simplier and life would proabably make more sense if I actually believed in God, and not only God but if I was a Christian. Then I could really believe that I had a purpose and am someone, not just someone, but someone God loves and cares about. But it just doesn't make sense to me. I was a Christian for many years, I have read many books and heard many sermons, but it just doesn't make sense to me. Oh well, I guess I'm destined for hell, whatever that is.

I think I have decided what my favorite quote on television is. It is from Simpsons "This brand new $300 million stadium was completed just 3 weeks ago and it is scheduled for demolition early next month. America's priorities are a joke!" It comes for the announcer at the super bowl. I esspecially like that last sentence.

How About You?

Do you ever wonder what your younger self would think of the person you have become? If the you of 5 years ago, or 10 years ago be proud of who you are today? Would he be surprised? Disappointed? Grieved?

What about you as of right now? Are you happy with how you are? Happy with the decisions you make on a day to day basis, week to week basis, month to month basis?

Do you ever just feel so overwhelmed with life that you feel like shutting down? You just feel like you will give up feeling, give up caring. I’m not saying I’m that overwhelmed, but there are times when I feel like I want to stop caring, to stop feeling.

Do you ever feel like there is no hope?

If you don’t then I envy you.