Life worth living

It's been three months. I know. It makes me wonder if anyone actually checks this anymore, if indeed any one ever did read this. But it doesn't really matter, I didn't really start this blog for other people, I started it for me self, I started this blog to get my thoughts, feelings, ideas, "out there" whereever "there" is.

Well, if anyone does check this and hasn't heard yet, I'm going to become a trucker. Yes, me, a man with a college degree, a man that is quite intelligent, capable, competent, is going to throw away a possible career with Sterling Savings Bank and hop onto a truck and drive around the country. Why? Well, certainly I'm feeling quite desperate with my student loans and other debt (i.e. credit card debt), and am tired of not having any money at the end of the month....or the beginning of the month for that matter. But I also think it will be fun, be an adventure. I've tried to think about what I will do after it, something a little more permenant. And, I must say I have no idea. I still have trouble seeing myself doing anything for too long. I don't know how people choose a career and stick with it so many years. I can't imagine myself doing anything for too long. Life is so short and I want to do so many things, maybe I'll just float around doing different jobs for a couple years, then move on to something else. I kind of want to be a pilot, police officer (although if I do that Matt and I might not be able to be friends anymore), a lawyer, an economist, a politician, an author, etc. And I've been thinking, why not? Sure, the norm is to choose an occupation and pretty much stick with it, and while most people do change careers to a certain extent, most of the time it still falls within the same skill set, but why should I follow the norm? This is the only life I have (unless the hindus are right), so I figure I might as well do it, I don't want to be 80 looking back at this life saying "I wish I tried that", I want to try it all.....well maybe not any of the hardcore drugs, but you know what I mean.

Which leads me to my next point, I have decided that I am going to try to be more open and honest about myself. I have lived so long and have gotten so used to hiding who I am, mainly because that's what my family does, but I realized that I don't want to be like my dad. I know that sounds like a harsh thing to say, but I don't. So, if you notice me being more open and honest, saying things I normally only say when I'm drunk, don't be surprised, I'm just trying something new.

Speaking of which, if this post seems a little unfocused, it might have to do with the fact that I'm a little hung-over. And before you think too poorly of me, let me explain: It's all Jon's fault. See, I did consume a bottle of wine last night, over several hours, and I was feeling its effects, not to a great extent, but certainly feeling it. Jon and I were talking late into the night as he was doing homework, and I declared that I was going to be. Jon didn't like this idea since he still had to stay up, so he poured me a shot of 151 (sorry Matt, but it was your 151), which I took. And alcohol being the bitch that she is, after having that and feeling its affects I decided I wanted a little bit more, so I poured myself some gin on the rocks (again, sorry Matt). So, I ended up going to bed at about 6:30 this morning, felling rather drunk, and woke up at 1 this after noon feeling rather hungover. So, yes, this post might be unfocused and rambling, but atleast I have an excuse. My next post might be a little better (but I can't really say, since I tend to ramble and be unfocused in my writing even when I'm feeling great).