I have been thinking a lot about my friends recently, and I realized that I don't really let them know how I feel enough, I don't let them know how much I value and appreciate their friendship. It's something that I really need to work on. So, if you by chance are one of my friends reading this, just know that you are loved and that I do value the fact that you are in my life.

It's weird to think that in just a short 6 years and a few months I'm going to be 30. Don't worry, I'm not already freaking out about turning 30 (I'll do that in another year or two). I only mention it because when I think about being 30, for some reason that sort of seems like the end. Not so much that I'm going to die, but I feel like that if I haven't done it by then, I never will. It is of course ridiculous, when I turn 30 I'll still have another good 30 years or so left. But when I think about my possible lives for the next 3-5 years I keep thinking about turning 30 and how I need to do everything I want to do in the next 3-5 years, or it's not going to happen. I probably should just relax and try to enjoy this moment in time more, and not constantly think about the next moment.

In the past few weeks I have really started investigating Buddhism. Particularly Zen Buddhism (or Chan Buddhism if you're Chinese). I'm not saying that I am a Buddhist, but I wouldn't be surprised if I started adopting much, if not all, of Zen Buddhist's philosophy. And before any of you start worrying, that does not mean that I'll be getting statues of Buddha and rubbing its belly, and prostrating myself in front of it, or praying to the Buddha, or anything like that. But it may mean becoming a vegetarian (Buddha taught to value and have compassion on all living things, not just humans. It isn't necessarily a strict vegetarian belief, but it becomes more difficult to justify the killing of animals for your food if you have compassion and value their lives). I don't know how the whole vegetarian thing would work with being a truck driver, since there probably aren't too many vegetarian options at Truck stops, but we'll see. I'm still trying to learn more about it and really understand it fully. Although it is difficult since it is quite a different philosophical mindset than what I am used to. I currently have 3 books on the topic. One of them is more a guide to meditation and Zen practice. One of them is from a more religious bent on Buddhism, where they advocate praying and bowing to Buddha statues (Zen Buddhism considers itself more a philosophy than a religion). The last one I have is I think the best, because it goes through many of the concepts and teachings of Buddha, and also talks about what the main point of Buddhism is. I doubt I'll ever be able to buy into the whole reincarnation thing, but it doesn't really seem like at least Zen Buddhism emphasizes that much anyway(at least the two books about Zen I have make very little mention of it) and from my meager understanding, it doesn't seem like it is all that important of a concept anyway. Anyhoo, I just wanted to give you all an update on that front of my life, and I'll try to keep yall update as necessary.

Finally, this past month or so I have felt more at peace with life than I have in a long time. Let's hope that continues.