Life---

Well, One month from today I am leaving for Swift Driving school. I've already given my notice at Sterling (Basically a 5 week notice, although one of those weeks I will be in Iowa). After that I will be starting my new life. For some unknown reason I want to get drunk every night of December, since I won't be doing much drinking while I'm driving (the alcohol limit for a trucker is .04), so I figured I should get as much in as possible. The one concern I have is alcoholism, which my grandfather had, and by which he killed himself. although, the one comfort I have is that I would be forced to give up my alcoholic ways once I started trucking. And one month as an alcoholic would be fun. Although I wouldn't beable to afford the top shelft stuff, I would be stuck with the cheap stuff. At least cheap whisky is drinkable.

In other news, there really is no other news. I want to be more open with people, but I'm constantly afraid of rejection, or being alone. (If I soulnd like I'm beating a dead hourse, feel free to skip this section) So I'm trying to be more open, more talkative, allowing people to see more of me, at least in small doses. Tests, if you will. If they seem to reject me I will probably retreat back into my shell, hidden forever, if they (they being humans in generally) accept what they see, then maybe I might reveal more of myself, and maybe, one day I might not feel terrified of being myself infront of other people. After watching much television I'm pretty sure this is a universal trait (atleast among TV writers). I got to wondering why this is, I figured that people are just afriad of being alone. See, we humans are prone to judgements and fear of those things that are different from us. Thus, it is perfectly reasonable for us to protect ourselves against the judgement and fear of others, since if we invoke such things, they will leave us, and we will be alone. And we humans are not meant to be alone, even those of us who enjoy being alone most of the time....we still still need friendly, loving human contact every once in a while. thus it is terrifying, but I think necessary to, to display one's trueself to the world.

Well, I know I am repeating myself at this point, so I might as well sign off for now. Maybe I'll sign in sometime soon, although I will probably be drunk (I wonder if you can tell).