Capitalism, Values, Thoughts, the Future, and Starbucks

Anyone who has listened to the “Religious” Right has heard that that America is a Christian nation. In fact, it seems to blasphemy to even suggest otherwise. All I can say is that I pray that they are wrong.

Whenever anyone tries to talk bad about capitalism its defenders rush in and loudly proclaim that there isn’t any other system that works as well, that produces as much prosperity, as much wealth. That is probably true. Certainly if you look at the nations of the world, those who have adopted freer markets have gotten wealthier, but should that be the end result of an economic system, wealth? The defenders also point out the efficiency of the system, which again is very true. There is not another system that produces things as efficient, but should the only measure of an economic system be its efficiency? What about the humans in the system? Do they not count? Sure, the system may create the most wealth, and be efficient, but what about the people who are completely screwed over by such the system? Do they just not count? How can any Christian simply discount those people, write them off as a loss? I don't know what a better system would be, but why this apparent blin loyalty to Capitalism?

I don’t know how Christians can work for corporations who care more about the bottom line than people. Although, if they didn’t I don’t know how they would be able to support themselves…..maybe all is lost, values are worthless, you can only have them when you are able to, but it is impossible to have values in all aspects of life, so you might as well give up now. Give in, give up, it is hopeless. Values are only for those who have money; unfortunately, to get money you have to give up your values, at least for a while, if not that, at least alter them enough so that what you are doing doesn’t get in the way.

Why did God give us values, morals, if they are impossible to live with? How am I supposed to live, to make money, to support myself, not even counting my family I hope to have, without compromising my values, my morals? Do I just stand on the street corner? But even that wouldn’t work. Do I just make my wife work, so that I don’t have to compromise my values? Or do I just say screw it all, throw what I think to the wind and go whore myself to the highest bidder.

And what do I think? I don’t know…..well….I do know, but I don’t know it in words. It is so frustrating. I have all these thoughts in my head, but getting them out seems impossible. When I try to describe it, it seems like trying to describe a color to a blind man. I can see it clearly, makes perfect sense to me, but I have no words in which to describe it. No frame of reference in which to make it clear. When I do try it just comes out in random ramblings, never really getting the true point across, just a bunch of incoherent words. They don’t even make sense to me, and I am the one who said them. I feel like I should be shouting from the rooftops, but when I open my mouth, nothing comes out; I have no words with which to shout. I look at others who are able to express themselves so easily, describe what they are thinking, with envy. When asked I usually say I don’t know what I am thinking, which isn’t really true because I know exactly what I am thinking, but I couldn’t possibly tell you. I couldn’t even tell myself if I had to do it in words.

I really don’t want to get a job. I know that sounds very lazy and un-American of me, but I don’t care. I don’t mean I don’t want to work, I have no problem with working, but at least at the moment, I am so sickened and tired of the “American Dream”. I don’t want a 9-5 job that I will have until I am 65. I don’t want a house with a picket fence in a nice neighborhood. I don’t want to look forward to weekends, holidays, and vacation days. I don’t want to have to worry about saving for college for my kids, saving up for that big vacation, for that new car, a new house, for retirement. I don’t want to look forward to retirement when I will be able to not work. I am not exactly sure what I want to do, but I do know what I don’t want to do. Although, I don’t know how I am supposed to live in this country not doing any of these things.

I have really come to love Starbucks and Starbucks like establishments. This morning I slowly woke up, took a leisurely shower, had a nice breakfast (omelet and bacon), then went to Starbucks ordered a large Chai tea latte and a pumpkin scone, and sat in a soft cushioned chair for a couple of hours listening to music and breaking in a new journal my mom bought for me. I think that is what I want to do for the rest of my life.